The Delicious Discomfort of Ambivalence: When You Can't Quite Commit
Isn’t it fascinating how often we grapple with feeling… stuck? Not necessarily bad, just… uncertain. That space between wanting two things, or being pulled in opposing directions – that’s the territory of ambivalence, and it’s surprisingly fertile ground for compelling storytelling. It’s more than just indecision; it's a complex emotional state where conflicting feelings coexist, creating a delicious discomfort that filmmakers can really sink their teeth into.
Think about The Marks, for example. On paper, running a backyard wrestling league founded on your legendary father’s legacy sounds amazing. But the film beautifully portrays the protagonist’s internal struggle – she's honoring her family while simultaneously trying to forge her own path, injecting her personality and vision into something already steeped in tradition. It’s not just about success; it’s about defining herself within that context. That push-and-pull, that feeling of being both bound by the past and yearning for the future? Pure ambivalence.
And you see a different kind of ambivalence at play in The Last Front. Leonard Lambert is devoted to his family, but he’s also caught in the brutal machinery of World War I. He wants peace, safety, and love, yet finds himself surrounded by violence and loss. The budding romance between Adrien and Louise offers a flicker of hope, a counterpoint to the devastation, but even that is shadowed by the looming threat of war – a constant reminder that happiness might be fleeting. It’s a heartbreaking illustration of how life's joys can exist alongside profound uncertainty.
What I love about films like GIRLSFOLLOWMOONLIGHT is how they tackle ambivalence in a deeply personal way. The protagonist isn't simply "coming of age"; she's wrestling with conflicting desires, societal expectations, and her own evolving sense of self. It’s that feeling of wanting to be seen, understood, but also terrified of exposure – a truly ambivalent state. It reminds me a bit of my own awkward teenage years; I remember desperately wanting to fit in while simultaneously craving individuality!
Even something seemingly lighter like Wynonna Earp: Vengeance touches on this theme. Wynonna’s pursuit of retribution is complicated by her own demons and the potential for further loss. Is vengeance truly satisfying, or will it only perpetuate a cycle of pain? That internal debate – that ambivalence about the morality of her actions – adds real depth to what could have been a straightforward revenge plot.
Ultimately, films that explore ambivalence resonate because they reflect something fundamental about the human experience. We rarely feel entirely certain; we’re constantly navigating conflicting desires and uncertain futures. And sometimes, it's in those moments of delicious discomfort—that space between yes and no—that we truly discover ourselves.
So, what do you think? What films have you seen that really captured that feeling of being pulled in two directions?
